Hey y’all! Back in the woods to holler atcha for a half hour! Todays topics include a lady thinking she saw a robot on a plane, a thank you to Sarah Wofford for helping me realize something, how much better sobriety is, how much I love stupid ass hot dog eating contests, and oh yeah…. Towards the end I try to decide what the greatest “old person” candy of all time is 🤣
Hey buddy, sorry just now watching this. Life gets in the way as you know. On the candy rant, first I think you were talking about strawberry bon bons. You can get them on Amazon. Second is my favorite candy of all time is homemade fudge! Any kind: peanut butter, dark, with black walnuts, etc. Also at a local store here, you can buy a 12" x 12" rice krispie treat! Thank you for taking time to do this show and bring some light into our lives!
Butter pecan ice cream and a fuckin chocolate covered toffee! Those strawberry candies were sold by the Hickory Farms stores in malls back in the day! I am so aging myself, lol. Skew
I always make peanut butter Rice Krispies treats; when I've tried making them without PB the store-bought ones were better because mine were too "fluffy" or something - not dense enough. I also add either peanut butter M&Ms or Reese's Pieces, and often mini Reese's cups and more un-melted marshmallows.
I usually use sprinkles and whatever colors of M&Ms or Rice Krispies there are to theme them to a holiday. Here's Easter:
Hey Corey. Just dropping by to say my family and I spent the holiday weekend in North Georgia, specifically Blue Ridge, and it’s our new favorite vacation spot. So beautiful.
I'm OnTap and I'm from the future! Well, July 6th. Just listened to this and fuck it, I am just going to start journaling on here. See you in the funny papers. Name of whatever it is just georgiaontap.substack.com
I kept saying, “Werther ‘s Original,” when you were building up to it! And I forgot about those strawberry 🍓 candies my grandma used to have, and don’t forget the Brach’s butterscotch!! Lol 😂 👵🏻 now I’m going to go watch my murder stories!
I'm wondering if Werther's Originals are so linked to us oldsters because, by the time we get to the age we are, we don't give one good god dang what anyone thinks about some of our likes. If you're forgoing that buttery, caramelly, smooth, sugary awsomeness because you're afraid of looking like an old fuddy duddy, you are denying yourself a truly great pleasure. Don't let someone yuck your yum.
Corey, I've also had to step away from some of the nonstop awfulness or I'd be pretty suicidal. I'm retired, a disabled vet, and no longer pumping out bodies for capitalism or the military industrial complex. The incels and trad family champions and "our taxes are too goddamned high and we need to gut safety net programs" types make me feel like I've become a worthless drain on society that should just go the way of the dinosaurs. It's not a good feeling.
Prepare for the best rice crispy treats. of your life. First, toast the rice crispies in a frying pan for just a few minutes. Second, instead of just melting the butter, make brown butter. And last, use mini marshmallows and reserve about 1/4 of them. Stir those in with the cereal and you end up with little pieces that haven’t melted all the way.
It's wild that we consider toffee an Old Timer treat, when even thinking abt it is enough to pull out a weak molar. That stuff will be stuck in your teeth for a full presidential administration, but totally worth it!
An Old Timer treat I will also assuredly fuck with hard-core is a malt. It makes me feel abt 900 years old to order one instead of a shake but it tastes so luxurious a bitch simply cannot resist!
Here’s the butter toffee recipe I use. It’s super easy, although you have to stay with it at the stove and use a candy thermometer to get it to the right temp. It’s totally worth it though!! Also, the chocolate chips melt so fast on it and it only takes a couple minutes to melt them on top of the finished warm toffee. Spread the melted chocolate and sprinkle nuts if desired. Let me know if you try it and how it turns out. (Would make a great video...hint hint wink wink 😁)
Best Toffee Ever - Super Easy
This rich, buttery toffee is layered with smooth chocolate and topped with crunchy almonds. The recipe is easy to make and perfect for holiday gift giving or bake sales. I always get compliments and requests for more of this toffee candy.
Recipe by FUNKYSEAMONKEY Updated on September 30, 2022
Prep Time: 10 mins
Cook Time: 30 mins
Additional Time: 1 hr
Total Time: 1 hr 40 mins
Yield: about 2 1/2 pounds
Ingredients
2 cups unsalted butter
2 cups white sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup finely chopped almonds
Directions
Combine butter, sugar, and salt in a large, heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium heat; stir constantly in one direction until butter is melted, about 5 minutes.
Meanwhile, line a 9x13-inch baking dish with a sheet of parchment paper, letting it overhang two sides of the dish.
Once the butter has melted, stop stirring and bring mixture to a boil. Once boiling, cook, stirring only 2 to 3 times, until it turns a dark amber color and the temperature reaches 285 degrees F (137 degrees C) on a candy thermometer, 20 to 30 minutes.
Immediately pour toffee into the prepared baking dish. Sprinkle chocolate chips on top and let sit until they soften, 1 to 2 minutes. Use a spatula to spread softened chocolate into a thin, even layer. Sprinkle nuts over the chocolate and press down slightly; wearing a plastic bag over your hand will minimize the mess.
Place toffee in the refrigerator until set, about 1 hour.
Lift hardened toffee out of the baking dish with the parchment paper. Break into pieces and store in an airtight container.
Tips
Use chopped walnuts or pecans instead of almonds if preferred.
Nutrition Facts
calories
226
total fat 17g saturated fat 9g cholesterol 31mg sodium 101mg total carbohydrate 20g dietary fiber 1g total sugars 18g protein 2g calcium 18mg iron 1mg potassium 74mg
Imagine giving your seat buddy that polite nod and a "how y'all doing" when you sit down on the 9pm Thursday night to Tulsa, and their head swivels 90 degrees, gives a creepy smile and says "404 error, this webpage can not be found on the server". I'd be outta there too.
Fresh Rice crispy treat with the chocolate on top? Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, chewy goodness! Haha circus peanuts OMG Charleston Chews? Hickory Farms used to have those strawberry candies, did you have the Hickory Farm store in the mall with all those barrels of candy? I loved that as a kid. I be 60 in a month. Thanks for sharing. I spent my Holiday with family and friends and it was tons of fun. Memories!! Love ya! 💜
Hey buddy, sorry just now watching this. Life gets in the way as you know. On the candy rant, first I think you were talking about strawberry bon bons. You can get them on Amazon. Second is my favorite candy of all time is homemade fudge! Any kind: peanut butter, dark, with black walnuts, etc. Also at a local store here, you can buy a 12" x 12" rice krispie treat! Thank you for taking time to do this show and bring some light into our lives!
Best old person candy is those strawberry things I. The wrapper that looks like strawberries.
Butter pecan ice cream and a fuckin chocolate covered toffee! Those strawberry candies were sold by the Hickory Farms stores in malls back in the day! I am so aging myself, lol. Skew
I always make peanut butter Rice Krispies treats; when I've tried making them without PB the store-bought ones were better because mine were too "fluffy" or something - not dense enough. I also add either peanut butter M&Ms or Reese's Pieces, and often mini Reese's cups and more un-melted marshmallows.
I usually use sprinkles and whatever colors of M&Ms or Rice Krispies there are to theme them to a holiday. Here's Easter:
https://i.imgur.com/NfNwT2Z.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/ISvkquK.jpg
and Christmas:
https://i.imgur.com/RNTBQvw.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/b5Aa0i1.jpg
Hey Corey. Just dropping by to say my family and I spent the holiday weekend in North Georgia, specifically Blue Ridge, and it’s our new favorite vacation spot. So beautiful.
I'm OnTap and I'm from the future! Well, July 6th. Just listened to this and fuck it, I am just going to start journaling on here. See you in the funny papers. Name of whatever it is just georgiaontap.substack.com
I kept saying, “Werther ‘s Original,” when you were building up to it! And I forgot about those strawberry 🍓 candies my grandma used to have, and don’t forget the Brach’s butterscotch!! Lol 😂 👵🏻 now I’m going to go watch my murder stories!
You are so easy to listen to and connect with. That is a gift. Thank you for sharing it!
I'm wondering if Werther's Originals are so linked to us oldsters because, by the time we get to the age we are, we don't give one good god dang what anyone thinks about some of our likes. If you're forgoing that buttery, caramelly, smooth, sugary awsomeness because you're afraid of looking like an old fuddy duddy, you are denying yourself a truly great pleasure. Don't let someone yuck your yum.
Corey, I've also had to step away from some of the nonstop awfulness or I'd be pretty suicidal. I'm retired, a disabled vet, and no longer pumping out bodies for capitalism or the military industrial complex. The incels and trad family champions and "our taxes are too goddamned high and we need to gut safety net programs" types make me feel like I've become a worthless drain on society that should just go the way of the dinosaurs. It's not a good feeling.
Prepare for the best rice crispy treats. of your life. First, toast the rice crispies in a frying pan for just a few minutes. Second, instead of just melting the butter, make brown butter. And last, use mini marshmallows and reserve about 1/4 of them. Stir those in with the cereal and you end up with little pieces that haven’t melted all the way.
It's wild that we consider toffee an Old Timer treat, when even thinking abt it is enough to pull out a weak molar. That stuff will be stuck in your teeth for a full presidential administration, but totally worth it!
An Old Timer treat I will also assuredly fuck with hard-core is a malt. It makes me feel abt 900 years old to order one instead of a shake but it tastes so luxurious a bitch simply cannot resist!
Here’s the butter toffee recipe I use. It’s super easy, although you have to stay with it at the stove and use a candy thermometer to get it to the right temp. It’s totally worth it though!! Also, the chocolate chips melt so fast on it and it only takes a couple minutes to melt them on top of the finished warm toffee. Spread the melted chocolate and sprinkle nuts if desired. Let me know if you try it and how it turns out. (Would make a great video...hint hint wink wink 😁)
Best Toffee Ever - Super Easy
This rich, buttery toffee is layered with smooth chocolate and topped with crunchy almonds. The recipe is easy to make and perfect for holiday gift giving or bake sales. I always get compliments and requests for more of this toffee candy.
Recipe by FUNKYSEAMONKEY Updated on September 30, 2022
Prep Time: 10 mins
Cook Time: 30 mins
Additional Time: 1 hr
Total Time: 1 hr 40 mins
Yield: about 2 1/2 pounds
Ingredients
2 cups unsalted butter
2 cups white sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup finely chopped almonds
Directions
Combine butter, sugar, and salt in a large, heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium heat; stir constantly in one direction until butter is melted, about 5 minutes.
Meanwhile, line a 9x13-inch baking dish with a sheet of parchment paper, letting it overhang two sides of the dish.
Once the butter has melted, stop stirring and bring mixture to a boil. Once boiling, cook, stirring only 2 to 3 times, until it turns a dark amber color and the temperature reaches 285 degrees F (137 degrees C) on a candy thermometer, 20 to 30 minutes.
Immediately pour toffee into the prepared baking dish. Sprinkle chocolate chips on top and let sit until they soften, 1 to 2 minutes. Use a spatula to spread softened chocolate into a thin, even layer. Sprinkle nuts over the chocolate and press down slightly; wearing a plastic bag over your hand will minimize the mess.
Place toffee in the refrigerator until set, about 1 hour.
Lift hardened toffee out of the baking dish with the parchment paper. Break into pieces and store in an airtight container.
Tips
Use chopped walnuts or pecans instead of almonds if preferred.
Nutrition Facts
calories
226
total fat 17g saturated fat 9g cholesterol 31mg sodium 101mg total carbohydrate 20g dietary fiber 1g total sugars 18g protein 2g calcium 18mg iron 1mg potassium 74mg
Imagine giving your seat buddy that polite nod and a "how y'all doing" when you sit down on the 9pm Thursday night to Tulsa, and their head swivels 90 degrees, gives a creepy smile and says "404 error, this webpage can not be found on the server". I'd be outta there too.
White Rabbit candy, it's a taffy. Laffy Taffy, not as old as grandma but good like Now n Later's!
Fresh Rice crispy treat with the chocolate on top? Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, chewy goodness! Haha circus peanuts OMG Charleston Chews? Hickory Farms used to have those strawberry candies, did you have the Hickory Farm store in the mall with all those barrels of candy? I loved that as a kid. I be 60 in a month. Thanks for sharing. I spent my Holiday with family and friends and it was tons of fun. Memories!! Love ya! 💜
I found a coffee candy from Japan lately — something called Kopiko. Never had anything like it before, and it’s becoming addictive.