In today’s rant, I discuss many things including my gratitude for ALL OFF Y’ALL in regards to the launch of my new column in the Atlanta Journal Constitution.
Fuck that commenter for being anti-kid. Corey, I'm super here for anything you want to talk about and I LOVE hearing you grow into fatherhood. It's so goddamn beautiful. 💗
There's just something about having your own little person that makes things hit different. I've been crying too "You're Gonna Miss This" since my oldest was 10 days old. Based on my life experiences from childhood, I tend toward dourness and focus on the negative (that's human but gets 'enhanced' by life experience of you didn't actively choose joy) and it has been a good focus shift for me to remind myself all the time that it doesn't last forever. The days are long and the weeks are short.
Corey, I truly appreciate your sense of humour. I have had a rough time lately as I have a rare neurological disorder called CRPS and am a palliative care patient but I can always count on you to make me laugh.
I had triplets, twins and a singleton in 4 years. Unfortunately 2 passed but I I was blessed to raise 4 amazing kids. Now I have 5 grandchildren. I totally get how they are such a large and important part of your life.
On Friday my youngest grandson stopped by for a visit but I was sent by ambulance to the hospital so wasn't home. He is 3 and when he saw the gate up he said, Nana's closed, we come back later. It broke my heart but also warmed my heart. I'm home now and they're coming tomorrow to play.
I live with my daughter and her family but they all live super close and every kid has taken in a single grandparent.
Family is the best. Treasure your time with your son. The good times will always out number the bad.
My thing is I can't watch any movie or read a book where a kid is killed, injurred, raped, attacked or in any peril at all. I was reading the book "Blindness" and as soon as a family entered the blind compound, I put the book down and never finished it.
Man, funeral home story made me remember - there was a crematorium that was behind the garage I used to work at. In the front of the garage is the railroad tracks. Now, you figure all sorts of dust and crap falls off and / or gets kicked up by the trains. Logical, right? Well, apparently this crematorium was not burning people at the proper temperature and for like years all this dust we were washing off customer's cars, wiping out of our eyes, and breathing in was PEOPLE ASH!! And yeah, once they got shut down there was hardly any more dust. Makes me shudder just thinking about it. I mean, it was on my empanadas (we had this empanada man whose wife would start making empanadas at like 3am and he'd bring em around in an old cooler. They were like 2 for $3, and there is no better food on earth when you're hungry and hungover than a couple empanadas from the empanada man), it was on the toilet seat, it was everywhere...you know how dust be. Blek.
Anyway, figured yall might find that kind of amusing...god knows I do!
As a kid, I was occasionally hauled to St. Mary's County, MD to attend the funeral of a relative that I had maybe seen two or three times. The grown-ups would be chatting away and I'd be bored because my mother had said No, You Cannot Bring a Book to Read, this is a Social Occasion.
So, I'd wander. The worst thing I can say about anyone's decorating style is that it reminds of me a funeral home.
One time, I drifted into a large room -- rows of chairs, no people. The apparently un-dear departed isolated in the fancy box and about three names in the book.
I felt so sorry for the dead guy that I wrote about six made-up names in the memorial book.
I don't know if this falls under the heading of Mildly Insane or not, but podcasts like this, POA, WellRED, GravyBaby feeds an illusion that I live in an invisible neighborhood with fantasy friends.
So badly do I want to drive my ancient ass down to Chickamauga and give you the hug of all time.
Don't you fall victim to Imposter Syndrome! You've worked for this!
Will you ever go back to touring?
I did not know about the butthole demon. My parents had no imagination -- it was always the starving children in China. Somebody must have fed them since China basically owns us now.
Do you not have a copy of "Elvis is Dead and I'm not feeling so good myself"?
The King's death-day was two days ago and I am not allowed to forget it because that's the day my father died.
I knew about the crematory scandal -- we've had several similar cases up here in Pennsylvania Deutsch country and no, I don't know what they were thinking... I thought your story took place in Rising Fawn, though. My brother and I were reminiscing the other day about the time our family spent the night there. Mom, Dad, my brother, myself, my grandmother and her sister Edith who didn't know if she was in Rising Fawn or Timbuctoo and was just as happy either way.
Is there a link to the AJC column that doesn’t hit a paywall? My screen blurs out after the first few sentences unless I have a subscription. 😫
Dang it Corey your smile as you talked about the HeroHero is so sweet talking about feeding your family -- speaking of emotions! 🥲
🤣🤣🤣 Demon sucks your soul through your butthole 🤣
Omg that's so hilarious 🤣 For real though get a dog to do that job for you Corey
Fuck that commenter for being anti-kid. Corey, I'm super here for anything you want to talk about and I LOVE hearing you grow into fatherhood. It's so goddamn beautiful. 💗
There's just something about having your own little person that makes things hit different. I've been crying too "You're Gonna Miss This" since my oldest was 10 days old. Based on my life experiences from childhood, I tend toward dourness and focus on the negative (that's human but gets 'enhanced' by life experience of you didn't actively choose joy) and it has been a good focus shift for me to remind myself all the time that it doesn't last forever. The days are long and the weeks are short.
It has made me appreciate things more.
Oldest is 14 in November 😭 He's such a cool person and one of my favorite people.
Corey, I truly appreciate your sense of humour. I have had a rough time lately as I have a rare neurological disorder called CRPS and am a palliative care patient but I can always count on you to make me laugh.
I had triplets, twins and a singleton in 4 years. Unfortunately 2 passed but I I was blessed to raise 4 amazing kids. Now I have 5 grandchildren. I totally get how they are such a large and important part of your life.
On Friday my youngest grandson stopped by for a visit but I was sent by ambulance to the hospital so wasn't home. He is 3 and when he saw the gate up he said, Nana's closed, we come back later. It broke my heart but also warmed my heart. I'm home now and they're coming tomorrow to play.
I live with my daughter and her family but they all live super close and every kid has taken in a single grandparent.
Family is the best. Treasure your time with your son. The good times will always out number the bad.
I will be happy to suck the demon out of your butthole, Corey, thus restoring your soul.
My thing is I can't watch any movie or read a book where a kid is killed, injurred, raped, attacked or in any peril at all. I was reading the book "Blindness" and as soon as a family entered the blind compound, I put the book down and never finished it.
Stay the hell away from "The Blood of the Lamb" by Peter DeVries. Beautifully written, but...
Couldn’t read “The Lovely Bones” either.
Me neither. Nope, nope, nope.
And if I see a cute animal in the first fifteen minutes of any given movie, I just know dat critter gonna die....
You need to have more kids, Corey! You got too much love for just Bain!
Man, funeral home story made me remember - there was a crematorium that was behind the garage I used to work at. In the front of the garage is the railroad tracks. Now, you figure all sorts of dust and crap falls off and / or gets kicked up by the trains. Logical, right? Well, apparently this crematorium was not burning people at the proper temperature and for like years all this dust we were washing off customer's cars, wiping out of our eyes, and breathing in was PEOPLE ASH!! And yeah, once they got shut down there was hardly any more dust. Makes me shudder just thinking about it. I mean, it was on my empanadas (we had this empanada man whose wife would start making empanadas at like 3am and he'd bring em around in an old cooler. They were like 2 for $3, and there is no better food on earth when you're hungry and hungover than a couple empanadas from the empanada man), it was on the toilet seat, it was everywhere...you know how dust be. Blek.
Anyway, figured yall might find that kind of amusing...god knows I do!
Congrats on the new gig with the paper!!
Wait until you have grandchildren!! Just as bad
And good column!
I'll shut up now.
Another thing: Poorly attended funerals.
As a kid, I was occasionally hauled to St. Mary's County, MD to attend the funeral of a relative that I had maybe seen two or three times. The grown-ups would be chatting away and I'd be bored because my mother had said No, You Cannot Bring a Book to Read, this is a Social Occasion.
So, I'd wander. The worst thing I can say about anyone's decorating style is that it reminds of me a funeral home.
One time, I drifted into a large room -- rows of chairs, no people. The apparently un-dear departed isolated in the fancy box and about three names in the book.
I felt so sorry for the dead guy that I wrote about six made-up names in the memorial book.
Vandalism probably, but my intentions were pure.
Where to start?
I don't know if this falls under the heading of Mildly Insane or not, but podcasts like this, POA, WellRED, GravyBaby feeds an illusion that I live in an invisible neighborhood with fantasy friends.
So badly do I want to drive my ancient ass down to Chickamauga and give you the hug of all time.
Don't you fall victim to Imposter Syndrome! You've worked for this!
Will you ever go back to touring?
I did not know about the butthole demon. My parents had no imagination -- it was always the starving children in China. Somebody must have fed them since China basically owns us now.
Do you not have a copy of "Elvis is Dead and I'm not feeling so good myself"?
The King's death-day was two days ago and I am not allowed to forget it because that's the day my father died.
I knew about the crematory scandal -- we've had several similar cases up here in Pennsylvania Deutsch country and no, I don't know what they were thinking... I thought your story took place in Rising Fawn, though. My brother and I were reminiscing the other day about the time our family spent the night there. Mom, Dad, my brother, myself, my grandmother and her sister Edith who didn't know if she was in Rising Fawn or Timbuctoo and was just as happy either way.
Now... to read your first column!!!
Great article. Congrats!
You become the 'hoover man' when you become a dad. Takes willpower! Lol You can do it! 💜