I don’t know how y’alls summer is going, but my allergies have really got me up against the ropes. Between hay season, the scorching heat, and a dew point that makes it feel like you’re walking through a yard sprinkler shootin’ out coffee, I’m bout as ready for fall as a boy can be. The Summer is sorta like ordering dessert at a restaurant before you’ve finished your steak: it seems like a good idea at the time, but then you end up sweatin’ through it and feel like puking the rest of the day.
The only thing, in my opinion, that makes a southern summer worth all the hassle, is knowing I can eat my weight in tomato sandwiches for a while. As weird as it is, I actually look forward to the ulcers I get on my lips cause that’s how you know them’s good 'maters. It’s kinda like god showing his work on a test. If you aren’t from round my neck of the woods, I will share with you the recipe for the perfect tomato sandwich. I’m sorry if this gets a little complicated, but remember, anything worth doing is worth doing right. So here ya go. Here’s what you’ll need for the perfect Tomato sandwich:
2 pieces of white bread
1 big ass tomato
salt and pepper
a big ole slab of Duke’s mayonnaise
Well, I guess that wasn’t so complicated after all, huh? They do say that the best things in life are simple I reckon, and a tomato sandwich is most certainly one of the best things in life. It’s one of the many things that I grew to appreciate far too late into my journey here on this cursed planet we call Earth. Momma and Granny used to talk about ‘em like they were caviar, and I just couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. Then one day they told me to shut up and eat one and it changed my life forever. I don’t like being told to shut up, but if you hand me a tomato sandwich afterwards I am more inclined to forgive you.
So as I sit here, coughin’, hackin’, sneezin’ and snortin’ my way through another miserable southern summer day, I believe I will look once again to my friend, the tomato sandwich, for a little bit of solace. Time moves like a Kenyan wind sprinter for me these days, so I know fall is just around the corner. When that time comes, I’ll have to find something else to complain about.
Have a great day, yall
i got the switch one time when i was like 8 cuz the mammaw was having the church ladies over the next day and i snuck in the fridge and took out the whole plate of tomayo sammies(this is what we called them as kids) like Kirby with some hardcore munchies that she had for her social gathering. no regrets.
White bread cannot be emphasized enough. Please do not make a tomato sandwich with any fancy bread. No ciabatta, no French, no wheat, etc… it must be white. Just sayin’