Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question, and if you get it right you don't have to go to school on Monday.
The first Friday the question was how many gallons of water are there in the whole world. No one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday.
Next Friday the question was how many grains of sand are there in the whole world. No one knew so they had to go to school on Monday.
By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn't want to go to school on Monday, so he paints two ping-pong balls black and the next Friday right before the teacher asked the question he rolled the two black ping-pong balls up to her and she said, "Who is the comedian with two black balls?"
Little Johnny said," Flip Wilson". See you on Tuesday."
(I did the punchline as I heard it as a kid...which I admit is probably lost on a lot of young people :) )
A bear goes into a bar in Boise, Idaho and says, "Gimme a beer!"
The bartender says, "We don't serve beer to bears in Boise."
The bear says, "Aw c'mon, give me a beer."
The bartender says, "I already told you, we don't serve bears here."
The bear turns to the woman next to him, rips off her arms, rips off her head, eats her head, then turns to the bartender, "If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to do that to you!"
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve drug addicts."
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin looks to the other and says “Man it’s hot in here” the other muffin screams “Holy shit, a talking muffin!”
Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question, and if you get it right you don't have to go to school on Monday.
The first Friday the question was how many gallons of water are there in the whole world. No one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday.
Next Friday the question was how many grains of sand are there in the whole world. No one knew so they had to go to school on Monday.
By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn't want to go to school on Monday, so he paints two ping-pong balls black and the next Friday right before the teacher asked the question he rolled the two black ping-pong balls up to her and she said, "Who is the comedian with two black balls?"
Little Johnny said," Flip Wilson". See you on Tuesday."
(I did the punchline as I heard it as a kid...which I admit is probably lost on a lot of young people :) )
So, SO many of the jokes I knew as a kid are uh...not suitable for today's audiences and good reason. This one is right up to the line.
Thanks for reading my joke, I made the kids listen to it again!
Another one...
A bear goes into a bar in Boise, Idaho and says, "Gimme a beer!"
The bartender says, "We don't serve beer to bears in Boise."
The bear says, "Aw c'mon, give me a beer."
The bartender says, "I already told you, we don't serve bears here."
The bear turns to the woman next to him, rips off her arms, rips off her head, eats her head, then turns to the bartender, "If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to do that to you!"
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve drug addicts."
"Drug addicts?!" says the bear.
"Yeah, that was a bar bitch you ate."