Hidy yall! Today I talked about what I would do if I won 280 Million dollars and god knows what else cause Im on a whole lot of cold medicine!! Love y’all. Mean it! Enjoy the ramblings of a lunatic! SKEEEWWWWWW!!!!!
Oh, and... just read your poem and sent a copy to one of my many gay friends.
I don't like to rejoice over anyone's death, but I did read his obituary with enthusiasm. And yes, Mark Twain or Oscar Wilde said this first, or something a great deal like it.
Incidentally, if heaven exists and Mark Twain and Oscar WIlde aren't there... well, I just won't GO.
The person I wanted to see win Powerball or its equivalent was my late mother.
She grew up in the Depression and she was born middle-aged. Her parents were the kind who worked hard, but not smart -- so money was always a problem. At Christmas, one of her grandfathers always gave each child a dollar -- and she told me that she planned for that dollar all year. One. Damn. Dollar. (Thank the Lord she can't see what a loaf of bread costs these days.)
Since she was the oldest child, she always overheard the grownups talking and worrying about finances. (By contrast, her younger sister enjoyed her childhood without a care in the world .) Her brother and sister would be opening their presents at Christmas and she'd be wondering if anything was actually paid for.
At twelve, she begged her mother to let her manage the family money. Her mother replied "Catherine, I know you could do it, but your father would leave home." (The male pride thing.)
Well, if you're a kid and you're sent to the store to get groceries and the store owner tells you told that your parents owed too much money -- and you have to go home, empty handed -- that's going to leave a deep scar. I'm not surprised she was a fanatic about money.
I always wanted her to win big for two reasons... (1) she might have been happy for a change; and (2) I'd time it with a stopwatch -- just to see what little amount of time it would take for her to decide that 500 million dollars really wasn't quite enough... (sigh)
I could always please her by saying "Well, I was going to do/buy such and such, but it'll have to wait until I can afford it." She would have been outraged by my recent trip to Asheville to see the Well-Reds. "You just lost your job! You can't afford it! Gas prices! You're too old to drive all that way by yourself." (booshit, I went and I had a great time and it was worth every gott damn mile and every fricken cent.)
Personally, I'd take a huge lottery win and pay my brother's debts and then set up a monthly payment system for him. College funds for his grandchildren, as I never achieved holy gridlock and never gave birth. I don't know how he and his wife who both had lucrative careers (lawyer, registered nurse/hospital administrator) managed to wind up broke ... well, actually, I do know but that's not a story for this substack. (Read the fable "The Ant and the Grasshopper.")
After that, I'd travel. Europe -- the art museums definitely, some of the famous buildings but what I'd really like to do is just drive around the countryside and get lost. And sit in the corner with a cup of coffee and just watch people. Do the same with America. And then, pick out a good college town, buy a house and take random college classes for the rest of my life. Whatever seemed like fun.
I might also employ a young, handsome, male companion whose main duties would be housework, home maintenance, and cooking -- while wearing a loincloth. (Snort...)
Pay off house, pay of vehicles (or get new), put aside for my granddaughters education, buy the company I work for's stock, as they do really well, pay of my sisters stuff and done. I will bury the rest!! Everything you said about germs post covid is dead on! I am so paranoid now! I believe I can see them now, maybe a part of our brain has evolved!
I caught Noro virus from a gas station the day after Christmas on my drive back to my home. I was in line and this lady comes rushing up and looks desperate to use it (it's one of those ones where it is a "private" bathroom (one toilet,door locks)), so I let her go ahead of me. Big mistake. I went next and I could tell that she had had explosive diarrhea. Really needed to go, so went and tried my best to wash my hands really well,etc. But Noro virus is transmitted by swallowing fecal matter that is floating in the air or when you touch something with the virus on it and then touch your face/eat without washing your hands, etc. It is one of the most transmittable stomach viruses.
Anyway, long story short, I ended up getting it and it was probably the sickest I have ever been in my life. I even had to go to the hospital for IV fluids.
We stopped at one of those gas stations on the way to Charleston. The bathroom was locked apparently with no one in it. The clerk just grunted at us when we asked about it. We went somewhere else.
You AND Leslie Jones?!? OMG, I would pay serious $$$ for that show! I checked though. She's not coming anywhere near me. Feel better. Happy Anniversary.
I just about fell out of my chair laughing at "BUT IT HAD HAIR ON IT!!!"
First thing I'd do is get my teeth fixed and anyone else's in my family that needed dental care.
We'd pay off the house and buy the last 3.5 acres of my husband's family farm that connects to our property. (We get to use it like it's ours, but his aunts could still (and have tried to) sell it). The majority of the farm had been turned into a couple of subdivisions after his grandpa sold it off for pennies on the dollar. Our 4.5 acres combined is all that's left.
I'd get a reliable car.
My husband would build a 3-bay, 2-story workshop for all of his carpentry and other tools, and a lift for working on cars. I'd get the upper floor for my arts and crafts stuff.
A nice chunk of land near water of some sort would be really nice to have to be able to get away from the noise of living in a city once in a while.
Beyond that, I don't have a lot of wants. It'd be mostly doing the things we already like to do; it'd just be done more often with a bit more money and better tools and supplies.
I'm the world's biggest TheraFlu addict!!! Several years ago I couldn't find it anywhere, and I about wigged out. Now that it's back, I'm stocked way up. It's my go-to for all kinds of weird maladies. I use more of it for non-flu than I've ever used for actual flu (I haven't had it in decades).
Hey there! Next time you find a nasty pit stop and your wife and child are with you when you’re going back to the car just tap on the window she’s sitting by and ask her to hand you a couple of wet wipes. It’s not foolproof but it’ll be better than not.
Oh, and... just read your poem and sent a copy to one of my many gay friends.
I don't like to rejoice over anyone's death, but I did read his obituary with enthusiasm. And yes, Mark Twain or Oscar Wilde said this first, or something a great deal like it.
Incidentally, if heaven exists and Mark Twain and Oscar WIlde aren't there... well, I just won't GO.
Lottery dreams.
The person I wanted to see win Powerball or its equivalent was my late mother.
She grew up in the Depression and she was born middle-aged. Her parents were the kind who worked hard, but not smart -- so money was always a problem. At Christmas, one of her grandfathers always gave each child a dollar -- and she told me that she planned for that dollar all year. One. Damn. Dollar. (Thank the Lord she can't see what a loaf of bread costs these days.)
Since she was the oldest child, she always overheard the grownups talking and worrying about finances. (By contrast, her younger sister enjoyed her childhood without a care in the world .) Her brother and sister would be opening their presents at Christmas and she'd be wondering if anything was actually paid for.
At twelve, she begged her mother to let her manage the family money. Her mother replied "Catherine, I know you could do it, but your father would leave home." (The male pride thing.)
Well, if you're a kid and you're sent to the store to get groceries and the store owner tells you told that your parents owed too much money -- and you have to go home, empty handed -- that's going to leave a deep scar. I'm not surprised she was a fanatic about money.
I always wanted her to win big for two reasons... (1) she might have been happy for a change; and (2) I'd time it with a stopwatch -- just to see what little amount of time it would take for her to decide that 500 million dollars really wasn't quite enough... (sigh)
I could always please her by saying "Well, I was going to do/buy such and such, but it'll have to wait until I can afford it." She would have been outraged by my recent trip to Asheville to see the Well-Reds. "You just lost your job! You can't afford it! Gas prices! You're too old to drive all that way by yourself." (booshit, I went and I had a great time and it was worth every gott damn mile and every fricken cent.)
Personally, I'd take a huge lottery win and pay my brother's debts and then set up a monthly payment system for him. College funds for his grandchildren, as I never achieved holy gridlock and never gave birth. I don't know how he and his wife who both had lucrative careers (lawyer, registered nurse/hospital administrator) managed to wind up broke ... well, actually, I do know but that's not a story for this substack. (Read the fable "The Ant and the Grasshopper.")
After that, I'd travel. Europe -- the art museums definitely, some of the famous buildings but what I'd really like to do is just drive around the countryside and get lost. And sit in the corner with a cup of coffee and just watch people. Do the same with America. And then, pick out a good college town, buy a house and take random college classes for the rest of my life. Whatever seemed like fun.
I might also employ a young, handsome, male companion whose main duties would be housework, home maintenance, and cooking -- while wearing a loincloth. (Snort...)
I'm glad you feel better.
“Seeing colors” 😂
I’ve not caught a cold in close 8 years. Knock on wood!!
My trick is not touching my face until I can wash with hot soapy water. Don’t touch your boy’s face either.
That being said, when my kids were young, I really couldn’t control that as much.
You need to be taking an echinacea and rose hip tincture. It will build up your immunity.
Pay off house, pay of vehicles (or get new), put aside for my granddaughters education, buy the company I work for's stock, as they do really well, pay of my sisters stuff and done. I will bury the rest!! Everything you said about germs post covid is dead on! I am so paranoid now! I believe I can see them now, maybe a part of our brain has evolved!
I caught Noro virus from a gas station the day after Christmas on my drive back to my home. I was in line and this lady comes rushing up and looks desperate to use it (it's one of those ones where it is a "private" bathroom (one toilet,door locks)), so I let her go ahead of me. Big mistake. I went next and I could tell that she had had explosive diarrhea. Really needed to go, so went and tried my best to wash my hands really well,etc. But Noro virus is transmitted by swallowing fecal matter that is floating in the air or when you touch something with the virus on it and then touch your face/eat without washing your hands, etc. It is one of the most transmittable stomach viruses.
Anyway, long story short, I ended up getting it and it was probably the sickest I have ever been in my life. I even had to go to the hospital for IV fluids.
We stopped at one of those gas stations on the way to Charleston. The bathroom was locked apparently with no one in it. The clerk just grunted at us when we asked about it. We went somewhere else.
You AND Leslie Jones?!? OMG, I would pay serious $$$ for that show! I checked though. She's not coming anywhere near me. Feel better. Happy Anniversary.
I don't think you know how much we LOVE you! That's all I have to say.
I just about fell out of my chair laughing at "BUT IT HAD HAIR ON IT!!!"
First thing I'd do is get my teeth fixed and anyone else's in my family that needed dental care.
We'd pay off the house and buy the last 3.5 acres of my husband's family farm that connects to our property. (We get to use it like it's ours, but his aunts could still (and have tried to) sell it). The majority of the farm had been turned into a couple of subdivisions after his grandpa sold it off for pennies on the dollar. Our 4.5 acres combined is all that's left.
I'd get a reliable car.
My husband would build a 3-bay, 2-story workshop for all of his carpentry and other tools, and a lift for working on cars. I'd get the upper floor for my arts and crafts stuff.
A nice chunk of land near water of some sort would be really nice to have to be able to get away from the noise of living in a city once in a while.
Beyond that, I don't have a lot of wants. It'd be mostly doing the things we already like to do; it'd just be done more often with a bit more money and better tools and supplies.
I'm the world's biggest TheraFlu addict!!! Several years ago I couldn't find it anywhere, and I about wigged out. Now that it's back, I'm stocked way up. It's my go-to for all kinds of weird maladies. I use more of it for non-flu than I've ever used for actual flu (I haven't had it in decades).
Hey there! Next time you find a nasty pit stop and your wife and child are with you when you’re going back to the car just tap on the window she’s sitting by and ask her to hand you a couple of wet wipes. It’s not foolproof but it’ll be better than not.
Also, love ya like chicken 🐣
A house. First purchase...a house
And my lottery ticket would go to something useful. I don't play though. Can't spare it
Bahaha you way less dumb than this dude in Raleigh who mistook a bear for a dog. Allllwayyys look on the brrrrigght siiide of LIFE...🎶🎶
Always love listening to you Corey. Glad you're on the flip side of sickness. 💜