What I Didn’t Know Then
An Essay
Just a minute ago, I was going through my physical archive of projects and what not to look for some old notes I took that may help me on a current project (usually ends up being an act of folly, but fingers crossed!)
Whilst perusing, I found this gem and was struck in the gut at the realization that it was 6 years ago. It seems longer and shorter at the same time. Here I was, a kid who had dreamed of making television since he was 5 years old who was now working every day on the Disney lot.
Our office was in the old animation building which was very cutely located on “Dopey Drive”. I was in heaven.
I’d get to work almost an hour early every day. A rarity in the world of comic-writers, but that’s just one of the things that makes me different/a result of crippling anxiety.
The real reason I got there early though is because it gave me a chance to walk around the lot at Disney Studios and fantasize. The comic-writer’s version of “Window Shopping” I suppose. I’d walk through the parking lot by the spaces reserved for executives and admire their cars.
As this was 6 years ago and Elon Musk hadn’t yet completely outed himself as a mouth piece for fascism (just my opinion, calm down) a great many of these cars were Teslas. The perfect car at the time for a Studio head: expensive and pretentious, but better for the environment so they could pretend that’s why they bought it.
My favorites though were the cars for which the environment played no role in their purchase. The Porsche 911’s (my dream car perhaps. In black if you’re feeling generous my birthday is 12/11) the Bentley’s, the Ferrari’s. I leaned towards the old cars though: the Corvette Sting Rays, the T tops, the red 1960’s mustang with a white racing stripe.
You know most of them didn’t buy them new and have kept them in good condition, but rather have spent the entire salary of our writing staff having them restored after buying them at a charity auction.
I think my FAVORITE cars on the lot were actually the stock ones they had on hand whenever someone filmed a scene with a news crew!
The opulence didn’t bother me, because I was no longer a kid from the south between cars cause I couldn’t afford good ones or I’d stay too drunk and forget to put oil in them. No… now I was IN THE GAME! In a few short years, these cars would be mine to park sideways between two spaces like an asshole (not that I’d ever do that. I figure if I can afford a Bugatti then I can afford to have a scratch buffed out)
The cars weren’t the main reason for my punctuality though. It was the old animation studio where my office sat. A lot of people don’t know this (and maybe I’m getting it wrong) but when Walt Disney built Disney Studios, he built it to the specifications of a hospital to make it easier to sell were he to ever fall on hard times (and as we all know, he did not)
This means the place was HUGE! And a great thing about Disney Studios is that apart from the add-ons, the original buildings sort of look like they always have, making me nostalgic for a time I never knew but am convinced I belonged. And in the old animation buildings, hung on the walls for all to see, touch, and smell, were early draft sketches of all our favorite Disney cartoons. Some you can even flip through to see revisions. The most notable to me is that in Aladdin, the original Genie was some sort of big green monster with Aladdin and Jasmine tucked away like kangaroo babies in his translucent belly. Sometimes I hear of things that ALMOST happened and get sad that they didn’t. The biggest example is that Adam Sandler was supposed to play The Bear Jew in Inglorious Basterds. Lord god idda loved to see that! This Genie situation is the exact opposite though. Thank God someone flicked that animator on the head with a ruler and we got our lovable and blue Robin Williams!
Oooh ohhhh! They also had ALL the original Disney Posters!!
“This is where I belong. I’ll be here forever. My life is about to change!” I thought to myself every day as I paced the halls of the legendary building. I’d call my mom every morning, usually while she was having lunch (due to the time difference) and have one sided conversations about how great everything was going and how I just KNEW this pilot was the one. She didn’t mind not getting a word in I don’t think. As a father myself now I look forward to the day that I hear my son babble on about how happy he is that his dreams are coming true. Although he may be communicating it through chips we both have lodged in our brains. Unlike the buildings on the Disney lot, the world updates and changes all the time. Sometimes for the worse.
Celebrating or dreams and spending the money we hoped to one day make
Well, anywho, since none of you have seen nor heard of the show “Middle Of Somewhere” it’s safe to assume that you all know that this show didn’t get made. I am not still perusing the halls of Disney on my way to work every morning, and I certainly don’t have a Rolls Royce parked in the executive lot.
I can’t bitch too much because even though the show didn’t make it to air that doesn’t mean I wasn’t paid handsomely for my time writing it. But up until recently there has been lingering feelings that a little part of me died the day we were told they were passing on our show. All those hours spent off the clock fantasizing about my new life and the prestige that would come with it. They all felt so silly and have pricked at whatever part of your brain makes you embarrassed of yourself.
Well, as we all know now (what I couldn’t comprehend back then) is that my life was not over that day, try as my brain did to make it feel that way. Sure, I haven’t gotten anything on air yet, but I sure got paid to write several more failed pilots after that! Self deprecation aside, I have since become a twice published author, have had sketches I wrote air on Comedy Central, performed at the MTV Movie awards, and still have many projects in various stages of production with several studios. Oh, and I have YALL! Which means I don’t have to depend on them as much as I used to!
More importantly though, I have become a father since then, and let me tell you something friends and neighbors… if my career falls apart tomorrow, that boy of mine beats a Porsche 911 parked in an executive lot every time.
To think that I thought I knew what I wanted back then. It’s a good thing I get paid to be one, cause I sure am a fool.
Catch yall later. Love ya
‘Corey
I admire you, Corey! I am too much of a control freak to ever live ife with such uncertainty! When I was a kid, I wanted to be a singer, a stand-up comic, or an actor but I was convinced (and so was my horrible mother) that I was not pretty enough, thin enough, nor were my tits big enough to do anything in the entertainment industry, so I went the "safe" route and became a physician. I have not regretted my decision but those old pangs are still there. Could be a fun post-retirement pursuit, who knows?
The places we think we'll go, especially in our youth. But it's all those dreams that make us who we end up being, good or bad. I've dreamed up being different things throughout my life. Strangely enough, by the time I retired, I had actually become one of those things and (mostly) enjoyed the final 15 years of my working life. So, never give up on that dream of selling a show.