Everyone has already said what I would have said three days ago. This essay is just the best. You are an amazing writer AND father and don't let anyone tell you differently.
I still miss my father and quote him all the time -- I just started an email by saying "Well" and then added "Don't dig it here." One of his favorite lines.
I never had children and never will because well -- it's like this. If you have a cat and you don't want more than one, but that cat that you DO have is female*, you take the cat to the vet for a certain operation. Well, (deep subject) I had to have that operation myself and it did take me a while to accept the harsh fact that I can never have kittens.
(When I'm not calling my home Mortgage Manor or Book End, I refer to it as The House of Spayed Females. I have two cats.)
Anyway -- to reiterate. No biological children in my future (and at age 72, I have more memory than future) just fur babies. I cannot know what it's like to have a child. But reading your splendid, heartfelt essay -- that brought me as close as I will ever get to the way that feels and I bless you for it.
*PS: My father called an unspayed female cat "the gift that goes on giving."
This is beautiful, Corey. The way you put the same feelings I have for my children into words is a gift, and one that I truly appreciate. It’s so funny how before you have kids, everyone tells you how fast the time goes and you think you understand. But you can’t until you’re living it. And even though the days feel long like you said, I think ultimately that is a good thing. It means that you are taking in every moment, and that’s what’s allowing you to notice all of his small accomplishments and the changes as they come. It’s better that way, rather than one day turning around and feeling like you missed the whole thing. Thanks for sharing.
Shoo wee kids grow fast! My oldest is 13 and he's on a med break from stimulant meds (ADHD) for the summer so he can grow. And holy crap, yes he's grown! I swear one night he grew almost an inch while he slept.
Oh, but Corey, even though time goes swiftly by, there’s another, maybe even better, gift waiting for you, That’s the moment you see your baby Bain become a daddy himself. It’s a feeling like no other. And he’ll be a good daddy because you show him how to be that each day.
Absolutely love this - brought a tear to my eye and made me relive the feelings of when my 27 year old was a baby. Thank you for that! You have such a gift for writing!
This is the loveliest thing I've seen from you, man. Got me all teary over here. My kids are my world. I was almost exactly your age when I had my first and she's now taking the SATs and figuring out with colleges to apply to and I worry the ache in my chest is going to eat right through me. I've got a 15 year old with Long COVID and I die all over again every day to see them suffering (also makes me have extremely violent thoughts about fkers who wouldn't wear their damn masks in the beginning so we could get rid of this thing but I digress...). I savor each and every moment with my kiddos, and I can tell you're doing the same. It's exhausting in the best way. They're everything.
I don’t know if you’re into mainstream country at all but I think Luke Combs’ latest album “Fathers & Sons” might hit for you. As you might guess, they’re all songs about fatherhood. I lost my daddy 5 years ago and a couple of them, especially “My Old Man Was Right” hit harddddddd for me. Beautifully written, Cho!
Oof...if you think staring down 40 w/ a 15 month old is rough, try looking down the barrel of 50 w/ a 16 year old daughter in the midst of all her teenage angst of trying to be both a young adult & no longer be the little girl you fell in love with the second you first held her in your arms as a newborn.
I just watched an old POA episode from a year ago (the one with wigs and a whole lot of syphilis talk) where he gave the origin of the Aunt Lita wig. 🤣 I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it.
Hi Corey, I know absolutely exactly how you feel! I just don’t understand people who are not completely in love with their children! It was instantaneous for me, while I was nursing David in the recovery room even before the feeling, came back in my legs after my spinal anesthesia from my C-section.
I remember when I was pregnant with my second child, Adam, I caught my husband, Scott (God rest his soul) holding David and crying and telling me that he loved David so much, how was he going to be able to split that love with a second child. I corrected him and told him that the love is not split, but rather doubled.
I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who had this fear with the arrival of another child. It seems so silly now, as I’m sitting here giving my daughter a bottle, that at one point I broke down in tears to my wife because I was afraid of sharing the love I have for my first son with another kid. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone else this much. And the idea of my love being stretched between the two was heartbreaking. But just as my first born showed me a level of love I didn’t know I was capable of, my daughter showed up and did it again.
I distinctly remember thinking that perhaps we'd make a mistake when I was pregnant with #2 because there was no way I could love another being as much as I loved #1. It was wonderful to be proven wrong and learn that kinda like the Grinch, my heart grew larger to fit in just as much love all over again for the second one.
You write really well, Corey. Your kid will be happy about that when he's grown, since he'll have this awesome record of him growing up and how ecstatic you are to have him.
You are a wonderful dad and that’s all that matters! Warms my heart. So rare and beautiful you are!! And your son too,! Enjoy your journey, you make it sweet!!
The joy in your heart when you write of Bain is palpable. Enjoy every moment and don't worry about age just yet. You've got a ways to go. Live in the precious present as it is a gift.
Computer was having conniptions, so I'm late.
Everyone has already said what I would have said three days ago. This essay is just the best. You are an amazing writer AND father and don't let anyone tell you differently.
I still miss my father and quote him all the time -- I just started an email by saying "Well" and then added "Don't dig it here." One of his favorite lines.
I never had children and never will because well -- it's like this. If you have a cat and you don't want more than one, but that cat that you DO have is female*, you take the cat to the vet for a certain operation. Well, (deep subject) I had to have that operation myself and it did take me a while to accept the harsh fact that I can never have kittens.
(When I'm not calling my home Mortgage Manor or Book End, I refer to it as The House of Spayed Females. I have two cats.)
Anyway -- to reiterate. No biological children in my future (and at age 72, I have more memory than future) just fur babies. I cannot know what it's like to have a child. But reading your splendid, heartfelt essay -- that brought me as close as I will ever get to the way that feels and I bless you for it.
*PS: My father called an unspayed female cat "the gift that goes on giving."
This is beautiful, Corey. The way you put the same feelings I have for my children into words is a gift, and one that I truly appreciate. It’s so funny how before you have kids, everyone tells you how fast the time goes and you think you understand. But you can’t until you’re living it. And even though the days feel long like you said, I think ultimately that is a good thing. It means that you are taking in every moment, and that’s what’s allowing you to notice all of his small accomplishments and the changes as they come. It’s better that way, rather than one day turning around and feeling like you missed the whole thing. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for making me full on ugly cry! This is a perfect description of parenthood, or as my sister calls it, the best job you’ll ever hate.
Bahaha a wig with your favorite football team 🤣
Shoo wee kids grow fast! My oldest is 13 and he's on a med break from stimulant meds (ADHD) for the summer so he can grow. And holy crap, yes he's grown! I swear one night he grew almost an inch while he slept.
Oh, but Corey, even though time goes swiftly by, there’s another, maybe even better, gift waiting for you, That’s the moment you see your baby Bain become a daddy himself. It’s a feeling like no other. And he’ll be a good daddy because you show him how to be that each day.
If he waits as long as I did to have a kid I’ll be 72 🤣
Meh, I’m almost 74 and feel much younger. You’ll feel like a kid again!
Absolutely love this - brought a tear to my eye and made me relive the feelings of when my 27 year old was a baby. Thank you for that! You have such a gift for writing!
This is the loveliest thing I've seen from you, man. Got me all teary over here. My kids are my world. I was almost exactly your age when I had my first and she's now taking the SATs and figuring out with colleges to apply to and I worry the ache in my chest is going to eat right through me. I've got a 15 year old with Long COVID and I die all over again every day to see them suffering (also makes me have extremely violent thoughts about fkers who wouldn't wear their damn masks in the beginning so we could get rid of this thing but I digress...). I savor each and every moment with my kiddos, and I can tell you're doing the same. It's exhausting in the best way. They're everything.
I don’t know if you’re into mainstream country at all but I think Luke Combs’ latest album “Fathers & Sons” might hit for you. As you might guess, they’re all songs about fatherhood. I lost my daddy 5 years ago and a couple of them, especially “My Old Man Was Right” hit harddddddd for me. Beautifully written, Cho!
I physically cannot listen to Reba McIntyre's The Greatest Man I Never Knew. Just...can't.
Oof...if you think staring down 40 w/ a 15 month old is rough, try looking down the barrel of 50 w/ a 16 year old daughter in the midst of all her teenage angst of trying to be both a young adult & no longer be the little girl you fell in love with the second you first held her in your arms as a newborn.
Shit...you got me crying now... 🥺
Jeez Louise man you set me off now. Shout out all the girl dads.
Corey I'm in bits at my work desk. This is lovely!
EDIT - I can see you reading this to him on his 18th while Aunt Lita weeps with pride and blows snot loudly in her handkerchief.
I just watched an old POA episode from a year ago (the one with wigs and a whole lot of syphilis talk) where he gave the origin of the Aunt Lita wig. 🤣 I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it.
Hi Corey, I know absolutely exactly how you feel! I just don’t understand people who are not completely in love with their children! It was instantaneous for me, while I was nursing David in the recovery room even before the feeling, came back in my legs after my spinal anesthesia from my C-section.
I remember when I was pregnant with my second child, Adam, I caught my husband, Scott (God rest his soul) holding David and crying and telling me that he loved David so much, how was he going to be able to split that love with a second child. I corrected him and told him that the love is not split, but rather doubled.
I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who had this fear with the arrival of another child. It seems so silly now, as I’m sitting here giving my daughter a bottle, that at one point I broke down in tears to my wife because I was afraid of sharing the love I have for my first son with another kid. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone else this much. And the idea of my love being stretched between the two was heartbreaking. But just as my first born showed me a level of love I didn’t know I was capable of, my daughter showed up and did it again.
I distinctly remember thinking that perhaps we'd make a mistake when I was pregnant with #2 because there was no way I could love another being as much as I loved #1. It was wonderful to be proven wrong and learn that kinda like the Grinch, my heart grew larger to fit in just as much love all over again for the second one.
You write really well, Corey. Your kid will be happy about that when he's grown, since he'll have this awesome record of him growing up and how ecstatic you are to have him.
Thank you so much!! Maybe someone will let me write another book!
You are a wonderful dad and that’s all that matters! Warms my heart. So rare and beautiful you are!! And your son too,! Enjoy your journey, you make it sweet!!
He looks just like you without the beard!
The joy in your heart when you write of Bain is palpable. Enjoy every moment and don't worry about age just yet. You've got a ways to go. Live in the precious present as it is a gift.