17 Comments

The last time I heard about "mouth paste" was when you read out the WellRed homoerotic fan fiction.

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If you don't want to rant where people can hear you, then how do you explain your career choice?

Women's clothes: I have long believed that women's fashion is controlled by an underground cabal of men who really-REALLY HATE WOMEN. I don't want my gay friends to get mad at me, but will someone please explain why most of these alleged clothes are designed to look good only on twelve year old boys?

The models get skinny-er every year. One day, I predict that the next supermodel will be someone we can't even see. Just an empty dress, flouncing down the walkway...

Shoes. My mother grew up in the Depression and wore hand-me-down shoes -- and she was afraid to tell her mother when the shoes hurt her feet. So, she could never wear the pretty shoes that she craved because her feet were weak and horribly misshapen. (My father used to say "If I had a cow with feet that bad, I'd send her to the butcher.)

Anyway, my mother decided this wasn't going to happen to HER daughter, no siree. So she bought me what were called "corrective shoes" (heavy duty leather Oxfords with a lot of instep support) when I was a teenager so that one day I'd be able to wear Jimmy Choos.

You'd think that as a girl-teen I'd be humiliated but all I knew was that (a) my feet were comfortable; and (b) if any of my so-called peers wanted to give me any grief on the subject of my shoes, I would remind them that I didn't think they were qualified to tell me what to wear or how to run my life.

However, my darling mommy shot herself in the foot, so to speak... I was so comfortable in what were considered clodhoppers, that no one could ever force me to wear high heels.

High heels had a purpose when women in long skirts had to cross muddy streets that were bedecked in horseshit -- nowadays, it's just a way of making sure that women can't outrun concupiscent males.

I'll be 72 this August, but so far, I have evaded maturity. Bring me chicken fingers! And tasty toothpaste!

So, you're having the Bain-meister watch Keaton and Chaplin? What a good daddy you are.

If you get that RV AND if you ever have a show in the Lancaster PA area, I have a parking space (quiet neighborhood) you may use. And I'll leave you alone, if that's what you'd like.

Have a great tour, ChoDaddy!

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I hear you about routine! I just retired and have to find my new one. Love your rants.

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Congrats on retiring! I retired at the beginning of the pandemic (funny part is the date was planned way before the pandemic kicked off) and found that it took a little while to decompress from the work routine. Still haven't settled on a routine that's not whatever the hell I want to do that day. 🤣

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Team chicken fingers 4life! I mean, I love fancy food and am an adventurous eater, but nothing hits quite like a chicken strip basket from time to time.

Fuck fockets! Depending upon your source, women’s clothing doesn’t have pockets because of A: slimmer profile cut/appearance of women’s clothing which the “bulk” of pockets would detract from (for the male gaze, of course🙄) or B: Historically, since women had next to no access to money or property, it was deemed that they didn't need functional pockets if their husbands had pockets.

Hope your show went perfectly tonight! Can’t wait to hear more from the road!

And whose tour bus have you been on? Drop those rock star names!

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You ever think that bikinis are just bras and panties?

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See ya next weekend in Fayetteville, AR!!

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YAYYYYYY bring ya friends!!

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Me and my beautiful girlfriend, Maggie May. Love your work, man. Safe travels!! ❤️

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founding

I only buy pants with pockets. Even all my jammie pants have pockets. It's all do to the fact that I have to have my fuckin' phone recording all my steps including flights up the stairs to do laundry. Tell Amber, clothes with pockets ONLY.

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She refuses to believe they exist!!

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Have a great tour! I'm glad you like Milwaukee 👍

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My daughter just informed me that some people get cracked lips from the mint in toothpaste and if that is the case they suggest to switch to children’s toothpaste

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Quoting a old Savoy Brown tune “wouldn’t it be a real drag if we were all the same “✌️💙😎

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The original LQBTQIA+ friendly jingle.

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I’m shocked someone else picked that up! Chris Youlden, amazing blues singer ✌️💙😎

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One might almost say that the GOP wanting everyone to be the same and march in lock-step are encouraging drag shows. 🤣

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