Puttin On Airs 2/7 Narrative Summary- From Tattoos to Treason to Drunk Irish Mascots: Aaron Burr & The Wild, Winding Road of History

A…….written summary of a podcast? What?

Corey will soon be in Athens, GA. ATLANTA, GA. And CHARLESTON, SC! Tix at CoreyRyanForrester.com

_____________________________________

|| Puttin On Airs is a podcast where two Southern Dumb-Dumbs (Trae Crowder and Corey Ryan Forrester) discuss high-brow fancy things such as high art and rich people and their silly culture, all while taking the piss out of it of course!

New Episodes come out every Friday where wherever you get your podcasts, or you can watch it on their YouTube at WatchPOA.com ||

_____________________________________

Hey Airheads! I had mentioned a while back that I was gonna do a transcript of some sort of the week’s Puttin On Airs episode for Substack (and WeLoveCorey.com) and against all odds I not only remembered that I said it, but I followed through!

This will serve three purposes: To give you a brief summary of what we discussed to get you excited about the episode, to give you something to share with a friend who is on the fence about whether Puttin On Airs is something they’d be into, and finally (and most importantly) to remind me what I’ve talked about so I don’t forget and repeat myself!

Enjoy!

From Tattoos to Treason to Drunk Irish Mascots: The Wild, Winding Road of History

Look, we’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again—there is no greater joy than making fun of white people, as a white person. The Irish? Oh buddy, you can go cartoonishly over-the-top, and they do not care. They’ve got real thick skin (that looks like milk with red fruity pebbles swirling in it) Meanwhile, the second you do a mildly exaggerated Southern accent, some dude named Randy is driving his F-250 through a Cracker Barrel in protest. We may have descended from The Irish, but we mainly just took the temper and alcoholism.

Which brings us to Uncle O’Grimacey—the forgotten McDonald’s mascot who got canceled for being too Irish.

Uncle O’Grimacey: The Only Mascot Ever Banned for Political Reasons

Y’all remember Grimace, right? The giant purple gumdrop that may or may not be black? (This is Corey’s theory because he looks like Charles Barkley) Well, in the ‘70s, McDonald’s introduced his Irish uncle, Uncle O’Grimacey, to promote the Shamrock Shake. He was green, wore a hat, and spoke in a cartoonishly thick Irish accent.

Now, what got him banned for life?

Oh, just the guy playing him getting piss-drunk on tour and ranting about the IRA to a bunch of children. As ya do.

Yeah. My man went full freedom fighter in a McDonald’s PlayPlace, started yelling about British oppression, and suddenly Ronald McDonald had a PR crisis on his hands. (You’d think Ronald would be on his side being a fellow Mick and what not?!?)

And now, after 40 years in exile, Uncle O’Grimacey is back, because we’re in the era of “fuck it, bring back the problematic shit”. Gotta say, this is perhaps one consequence of the current administration we can live with!

*BTW it is very possible that this is an unfounded rumor, but we come from the The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance school of thinking: When the legend becomes fact, print the legend!

Plus as we have said many times: Come Here Not For To Learn, Come Here For To Hit!

Now back to the summary….

Tattoos: From Fancy Folks to Trailer Park Kings

Speaking of things rich people secretly love, let’s talk tattoos.

In the Victorian era, British aristocrats got real into tattoos—but only secret tattoos, because God forbid Lord Winston got caught with a dragon on his chest. It might make the lady of the house catch the vapors and pass out in the pudding! (Mainly because her three corsets were tied tighter than the rope they used to hang the local pheasant thief!)

And, of course, America took that and ran with it.

By the Gilded Age, fancy people in the U.S. were getting inked up, but unlike commoners, they shot up cocaine first—because rich folks always find a way to make things fancier and way more unhinged.

Then tattoos became trashy, and now? Tattoos are for everybody—including conservative politicians who once swore they were sinful, but are now rocking full sleeves of eagles and Bible verses. Ironically not the Bible verses that teach you to treat your body like a temple.

Aaron Burr: The Original Chaos Merchant

Now, if you think tattoos have a complicated history, let me introduce you to Aaron Burr, a man who lived his life like the world’s first Florida Man. (Except with pant hose on his legs, not head!)

When the Revolutionary War started, Burr desperately wanted in, but the Army was like, “Sorry, lil’ man, this war’s for the tall boys.” Eventually, he got in under Benedict Arnold, the most famous traitor in American history—and Burr loved him. (Almost as much as he would have hated Randy Newman’s “Short People”)

Arnold was chaotic, reckless, and ready to fight anybody at any time—which, as far as Burr was concerned, made him the best leader in America.

Aaron Burr, Spy (and Catholic Priest?)

Arnold sends Burr and his men on a 600-mile trek through the Maine wilderness. They had no supplies, people were freezing to death, and hundreds quit. This was before the state became bludgeoned by a litany of Bed and Breakfasts. If only they’d known how much maple syrup surrounded them in their starving hours.

Burr? Built different.

When Arnold needed someone to go full Mission: Impossible, Burr disguised himself as a Catholic priest, walked into British-controlled Quebec, memorized all their secrets, and strolled back out like it was no big deal.

And that’s how you go from war hero to Vice President to fugitive outlaw accused of treason. The man had range.

The Moral of the Story

1. Irish people stay unbothered—even when they get banned by McDonald’s.

2. Rich people love tattoos when they’re a secret.

3. Poor people tattoos cool.

4. Aaron Burr was basically The Most Interesting Man in the World.

5. History is just one long redneck fever dream.

And most importantly?

If it causes chaos, we’re probably gonna talk about it.

Oh, I almost forgot… you all penned some wonderful letters this week!

Listener Emails: Y’all Are Just as Unhinged as We Are

Alright, now it’s time for the best part of the show—y’all’s emails. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that our listeners are just as deranged as we are, and frankly, that’s the way we like it.

Email #1: The “Weird Compulsion” Club

Our first email is from Jessica, who says:

“Hey guys, y’all were talking about those weird compulsions where your brain just forces you to finish a song lyric or reference when you hear certain words. Well, my husband does that, but it’s ONLY with commercial jingles from the ‘90s. You cannot say the phrase ‘I feel like’ around him without him yelling ‘CHICKEN TONIGHT!’ like a goddamn sleeper agent. We were at a funeral once and someone said, ‘I feel like he’s still here with us,’ and before he could stop himself, my husband just muttered, ‘…chicken tonight…’ under his breath.”

Jessica, first of all—we love this. Your husband is on the spectrum of awesome, and honestly, it’s a miracle he’s survived this long without getting his ass whooped over it (don’t worry, we know a good lawyer) . That is some Winter Soldier shit. He’s not even in control of it. You say the phrase, and his brain immediately hijacks his mouth like a glitching robot.

Also, this is why commercial jingles were dangerous in the ‘90s. You had a corporate-trained Pavlovian response and didn’t even know it. These companies could’ve launched a sleeper cell of Chicken Tonight soldiers at any time. Terrifying.

Email #2: Prison Shouldn’t Be a Crappy Hostel

Next up, we got an email from Mark, who says:

“Hey Trae and Corey, I loved the discussion about how American prisons are just punishment factories instead of actually rehabilitating anyone. I used to live in Sweden, and their prisons look nicer than my apartment. One of my Swedish buddies got locked up for a white-collar crime, and the dude was basically on a government-funded meditation retreat. Like, they gave him a laptop, let him take cooking classes, and he got to keep his goddamn job. Meanwhile, in America, you can get ten years for stealing a ham sandwich if you did it on the wrong side of town.”

Mark, first off—this is why Scandinavians are happier than us. Their prisoners are learning how to make crème brûlée, and our prisoners are learning how to join a gang so they don’t get shanked in the laundry room.

Also, let’s talk about the absurdity of the American “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime” attitude. Look, we get it—violent criminals shouldn’t be living better than you, but also, MAYBE the goal should be fewer criminals overall, and not just treating every dude who shoplifted a Snickers like they’re Jeffrey Dahmer.

The way we do it now, some 19-year-old gets locked up for selling weed, and by the time he gets out, he’s got tattoos on his eyeballs and a PhD in robbing banks. That’s not a solution.

Email #3: McDonald’s & The IRA

Finally, we got this absolute gem from Danny, who says:

“Hey y’all, I was dying at the Uncle O’Grimacey story. My grandma was born in Belfast and legit remembers McDonald’s pulling that mascot because, according to her, ‘they should’ve never let a Southie play an Irishman.’ Apparently, the guy playing him was drunk 90% of the time and kept telling kids, ‘The British are oppressors’ while handing out Shamrock Shakes. Anyway, I can’t believe they brought him back. What a time to be alive.”

Danny, first of all—your grandma is a treasure, and we love that she remembers this moment in fast-food mascot terrorism.

Also, this is why you can’t let an Irish dude get drunk in public wearing a microphone. If you put a South Boston Irishman in an oversized Grimace suit, and then fly him around the country handing out green milkshakes, at some point, he’s gonna start talking about the IRA. It’s inevitable.

And now, decades later, Uncle O’Grimacey is BACK, because in 2024, McDonald’s was like, “Fuck it, we’ve survived the Grimace Shake Challenge, we can survive this.”

Closing Thoughts: Y’all Are the Best Kind of Unhinged

Look, we love every single email y’all send. Every time we read one, we’re reminded that our listeners are the exact kind of weirdos we’d get drunk with at a dive bar, and that is the highest compliment we can give.

So keep sending your insane stories, bizarre compulsions, and fast-food conspiracy theories to PuttinOnAirs@Gmail.com, because this show wouldn’t be the same without ‘em.

We hope you enjoyed this summary, and as always: Stay Fancy Mother Fuckers!

Oh and BTW, thank you SOOOO much for helping us reach a Million views this month!

Might not seem like a big deal to some, but for this little grass roots organization it sure is!

And before I let you go, don’t forget to come see me Feb 16th in Athens, Ga (with The Drive By Truckers) Feb 23 in Charleston, SC, and March 20 in Atlanta, Ga …. All those tickets are at CoreyRyanForrester.com

Love yall!

‘Corey

(Audio of this summary will be available later today by subscribing to WeLoveCorey.com)