My Platform in 5 Points

I’m a bit buzzed up but I thought I’d come to you today with some thoughts:

#1 being gay is cool. I’m straight and I still think I’d blow John Hamm

#2 you should steal from Walmart. If they are gonna make us check out our own groceries we should get an employee discount.

#3. I think Elon Musk is special needs and while I think that’s perfectly alright, he shouldn’t be in charge of people’s pensions

#4. If there are men swimming in women’s competitions, I’m not saying that’s right, but it sure beats trans people getting beat up and murdered at bars for just trying to exist. Plus who gives a fuck about swimming anyways.

#5. Working class people should care more about their wages than the color of their supervisors skin.

This is what I’d run on, but unfortunately common sense ain’t popular.

Corey