Finding Forrester Part 1

Journal Entry

Now that I am trying a more sober lifestyle I sometimes vomit introspective dribble down on the page because I am trying to better come to terms with who I am and accept it. This is one of those times:) I will try and label them as such going forward to save you from reading them in case that ain’t your bag, baby!

In case you’re reading this mom, Im sorry about the picture!

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And….. GO!

I can’t stand divisive terms that are so transparently created to make people dismiss something that is otherwise a positive thing. Like the term “woke” for instance..I hate it. But I only hate it because I have been made to hate it by those who choose to weaponize it and make it sound silly. The truth is, being “woke” has to be a good thing right? I mean what is the opposite? Being sleep? Having your head stuck in the sand? Not giving one iota of a shit about anything that doesn’t directly effect you? Yeah exactly so I choose to identify as “woke” regardless of how embarrassing I find the term because, like my grandmother used to say about being alive “it sure beats the alternative!”

I find it equally as embarrassing to say out loud that I don’t adhere to stereotypical gender norms, even though it is so soooo very true in many cases. Don’t get me wrong, if you hung out with me for a few hours I am certain you would find me to be just as gross of a male pig as the rest of em. I love sports, cheeseburgers, boobs, getting drunk on a boat and talking about sports, cheeseburgers, and boobs… all that shit!

That said, I have also never walked past a Yankee Candle store without going in and smelling every one of them. I love to shop for clothes, I love to cook, I love to take “girls trips” with my momma and my sister and my niece, and I love a really good romantic comedy. I love to make Quiche and soup and have many recipes of my own creation filed away in my noggin for both! I love curling up in the book nook at my house and staring at an LL Bean Catalog, I love putting on face lotion and a robe after a nice hot shower, and I like making my own compound butters!

It’s a weird thing that I feel the need to express these thoughts to you all instead of just keeping them to myself.. where I’m from this too is considered girly I reckon. I call myself a comedian and an actor and as offensive as it is to people who are good at it I call myself a writer too…but really all that means is that I work in the arts and well, people where I from don’t always consider it “work” at all, and I suppose I’ve come to be ok with that. It used to bother me a lot I will admit. Hell I remember a few weeks after I had been on The View promoting our book The Liberal Redneck Manifesto: Dragging Dixie Outta The Dark, I was catching up with an old buddy who I hadn’t seen in a while and he was asking me about the experience. After I laid it all out and made myself sound wayyy cooler than I actually am, I was immediately humbled when he said “So, you were able to get off work to go up there or what?”

Man you talk about a punch to the gut LOL. I was a full time stand up comedian who was on national television promoting a book I had just written for a major publishing company and this feller was still like “yeah I hear ya but what do you do for a living?” Again though, I say that now it doesn’t bother me like it used to because hell what I do is a very weird thing that I can now accept is purty hard for some people to understand. What I do doesn’t sound like the amount of work that it actually is. What I do sounds like a whole lot of fun.. which it actually is:)

Yep, I just have to accept that what I do and who I am is a little peculiar to some of the folks I grew up with. Some of the folks who go to their “real jobs” every day. Some of the folks who “don’t do none of that girly shit” like I do. Some of the folks who probably still wonder how I keep a roof over my bald little head. But one thing I do know is that they are still proud of me and I think that if they would allow themselves to admit it, maybe sometimes just a bit jealous.

Of course they only see the glamour.. they don’t know the difficult parts of what it is that I do. I guess they just aren’t “Woke” enough:)

Thanks for letting me ramble

Talk Later

“Corey