Brains Are A**holes!
An Essay
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say something that has surely never been said before: the human brain is absolutely insane.
How is it that one minute I’m convinced there is no mountain I can’t climb, no fight I can’t fight, or no journey too complicated for me to see it through — only to have the same thing that convinced me of all that tell me I’m a complete failure no less than 2 hours later?
I think the real question is this: which one do I believe? Surely one of them is correct and the other a fraud, but who? There’s no way the answer lies somewhere in the middle, because that would make me an average person. No, I’ve seen too many picture shows to believe in that sort of nonsense - there are only heroes and losers in this here game of life and I’ve worked too hard to be the latter!
Ahh but what if both are fibbers? What if the function of the brain is to keep us as close to an even keel as possible but it hasn’t quite figured out the balance? Feeling a bit low? Here’s a dopamine shot to get you where you need to be. Oh now hold your horses there big fella.. you’re a bit too happy. Let’s give you a flashback to that time you tried to talk really loud to a blind person in front of all your friends. There it is. Wallow in that for a second you worthless sack of shit!
It’s true, my life is a series of extreme highs and extreme lows. I know some people who’s attitude and blood pressure remain the same no matter the time, the day, or the situation and not only am I plumb befuddled, I’m outright jealous. I used to see those people as boring but the older I’ve gotten, I’ve learned to replace that word with content or stable , and in almost every situation it rings true. Some days I’d give almost anything to be “boring”. I can be accused of many things, but like me or hate me, I’m not that.
I’m certain many of you reading this fit the same bill and are probably wondering, nay, hoping that I’ve decided to break character and actually offer up something useful in this piece. My sincerest apologies are in order, dear reader, for I do not!
I guess it is helpful to know that this problem is not unique to us. I think we would all benefit from changing our mantra from “I’m crazy!” To the more accurate “my brain is an asshole!” Give yourself a break - you didn’t get to choose your brain. I sure as shit didn’t cause I can assure you, I’d have gone the Matthew McConaughey route in a heartbeat. Of course I’m sure between smoking weed with Willie and playing the bongos nekkid, even he has his moments.
The only thing I really know to do is accept it, and hell, lean into it! When I’m low I try to remember it’s not forever. When I’m feeling great, I enjoy the hell out of every manic second! I do have a little more trouble bracing for impact when I’m way up high though.
Welp, as Waylon said “if I’d never felt the sunshine lord I would not curse the rain!” And frankly, who the hell am I to argue with that.
Take care of yourself, y’all!
‘Corey
Another wee bit of wisdom to start the day! I appreciate you! Have a good weekend!
My brain is often a liar. And so I greatly appreciate your description of this. Some days I feel like I can do anything, others that I can do nothing right, and I am so tired this week. I needed this one.