A Brief Note on January 6th!

(You can listen to me read this instead at WeLoveCorey.com :)

Photo by Louis Velazquez on Unsplash

After Christmas and New Year’s Day I am usually in a foul mood until the spring. My Georgia Bulldogs are out of the playoffs, my Tennessee Titans may as well switch to Hockey, and we had to take the Christmas decorations down early so my toddler would quit messing with them. I’m sure some of you think it odd that i’d prefer to keep our tree up through February, but it makes me happy. Without anything festive in the house, it is now just cold and miserable for the sake of being cold and miserable. Now I have no choice but to founder myself on Chili and stare out the window, cursing god!

It doesn’t make it better that now, every damn year, we have to be reminded of the dumbest insurrection of all time. I’m not suggesting that every insurrection has been great, hell some of them have been downright awful, but at least they had style and charismatic characters at the center of them making for a good movie or some such. The January 6th riots might be made into a movie someday, I don’t know, but I don’t really see a part for Denzel or Jason Statham, and I doubt Spielberg would be interested, so I don’t really see how good it could be. Best we could hope for is an Aaron Sorkin joint, but I doubt even his verbose ass could make quippy dialogue out of the ramblings of most of these dip shits.

There have been a lot of things happen in my lifetime that I will one day have to explain to my son: 9/11, The Covid Pandemic, why Barry Bonds isn’t in the Baseball Hall of Fame! But of all of them, the January 6th riots is the one I’m looking forward to the least. 9/11 was obviously more tragic, but I can at least explain to him how afterwards, for a brief moment, we were all united as one people. We realized the value of our fellow man, and we appreciated the lives we had in the wake of the ones who were taken from us. With the pandemic, I will be able to say that for all the bad it did, it’s possibly the reason he was born! Before the pandemic I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to have kids, but being at home for an extended period of time forced me to slow down and take stock of what was really important in life, and family was at the top of that list. I can use it to teach him the value of being prepared by showing him our government’s response to Covid and instructing him to behave in the complete opposite manner. And as far as Barry Bonds not being in the hall of fame… well, frankly, I’m not sure I’ll ever have the words to explain that injustice!

But what in god’s name am I supposed to say about January 6th? “Well, you see son, a group of people who were inspired by an anonymous online poster who claimed that demoacrats were eating babies in a pizza shop drove to the Capitol wearing Viking helmets and tore ass through the building knocking shit over like a couple of 12 year olds, and this was all seemingly done in the name of freedom”

“and this was seen as embarrassing by the republican party, yes Papa?” he might respond

“No my child” I’ll say “They would basically adapt the chicanery into their platform and run on it for the next 4 years”

“Well Papa… who won?”

No one did, son. No one did

Jesus christ, y’all… it’s too dumb outside to breathe sometimes.

Have a great day!